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Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005

Time: 3:02 pm. Mood: hot.

i feel like updating, i don't know why. i haven't messed with this thing in half a year. life's busy i guess. i have school and work and school and work and thats pretty much my life. does anyone i used to talk to on here still live?

words like violence | 1 | break the silence

Time: 9:20 am. Mood: indifferent.

hey guys i haven't updated in so long, it's crazy. right now, i'm at a friends (caseys)and im so bored. so i'm gonna go find something to entertain me. i haven't been home much lately, honestly, which is why i havent updated a whole lot. ok well, i will later.

words like violence | 8 | break the silence

Time: 6:17 pm. Mood: drained. Music: The Shins - Kissing the Lipless.

holy shit this is hard but i haven't done any kind of drug in over 2 days now. no cigarettes. it's a killer. and i see one right now that i want. but i noticed today after sweating mounds from band and running that i haven't eaten in about 2 days either. i don't think i did that on purpose but its kinda neat, to see like, which one i'll give out on first. will i eat or smoke first? and man i really wanted drugs today. BUT i resisted. this weekend sometime i'm gonna steal my mom's car and go to rachel's and then to a movie! woo! well not just me.. collin, will, alex, and chester perhaps. friday i'm gonna go to jenny and robin neubauer's house to spend the night after the game. :) we're gonna have an 80s night and dress up all great and watch crappy 80s movies and listen to 80s music. sounds like great fun to me. oh yeah sister called yesterday wants me to come spend the night sometime up there with garrett and herself and i said no. :)

words like violence | 2 | break the silence

Time: 10:50 pm. Mood: hopeful.

i hate boys. especially those who confuse me. cough.

words like violence | 3 | break the silence

Subject: everything will change, we'll give ourself new names Time: 3:33 pm. Mood: irritated. Music: Postal Service - Brand New Colony.

i have lots of tests. lots of homework. tonight's gonna be fun. andrew's kinda irritated with me for stupid reasons. no. i don't want him anymore. i want someone else and i don't care if it's gonna happen or not. i've almost decided to not tell the guy i even like him. so i don't think i'll ever have another boyfriend again. sheridan sucks, and unless i get to hang out with garrett or patrick more up at their house in little rock, i wont have a boyfriend. and if i hang out with them, that means video games + alcohol + weed. and i'm quitting drugs. for good. no more smoking especially.

words like violence | 2 | break the silence

Time: 1:11 am. Mood: melancholy. Music: Feeder - High.

apparently i said something wrong and it's being taken the whole wrong way. i'm getting made fun of by some people and someone who is important to me is ending up hating me. and it makes me sad. im sorry andy i didn't mean it, you should know that. :(

words like violence | 2 | break the silence

Time: 11:05 pm. Mood: cranky. Music: Wumpscut - Kill a Raver.

today was exciting. i got home at like 11 and i made collin beat the freaking grand jewel because i couldn't effing do it. then we went to his house and i cleaned and rearranged his living room kinda. turned all the blankets into throws and moved tables around. eh, then something happened but i don't feel like explaining myself/typing it out. so now i'm in a weird mood and i'm really tired. and for some reason i really want to hear industrial, and i can't think of any good bands. i used to love this crap and there's shit to listen to.

words like violence | break the silence

Time: 9:53 pm. Mood: exhausted. Music: Fiona Apple - Paper Bag.

suddenly.. i'm addicted to my playstation. all the time. i play legend of dragoon most of the time (i beat the first disc in a day though). i like to play dark alliance too. and i played some stupid game at sarah's today. maybe it's not so weird but i've never really played video games before. and i love how andrew isn't an asshole or anything about it. anytime i say something about it he makes fun of me and laughs at me and i swear he tries his hardest to make me feel stupid. doesn't succeed though. other than that, band's started. what fun.

words like violence | 2 | break the silence

Subject: drown in a bath tub, fill it with cheap beer Time: 11:08 pm. Mood: loved. Music: Matthew Good Band - I Miss New Wave.

today. was a fun day. that's all i'm going to say.

words like violence | break the silence

Subject: i read the news and they lied about you Time: 10:53 pm. Mood: excited. Music: Joydrop - Embrace.

Andrew's FINALLLYYY home. it's awesome. i missed him to pieces. (he was at governor's school, for those of you who missed that post, for 6 weeks). he came over and i was happy. so far, thing's are looking better than yesterday. maybe i was just in a whiney-bitchy mood. not only did i see my boy <3, but i've arranged for two fun things to happen! breakfast one day, and a kinda party one day. the more i read over the journal, the stupider i think i sound. and the stupider i probably am. (is "stupider" even a word). but that's okay, it's just a place to rant, right?

words like violence | 3 | break the silence

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