make a whole new religion

Sat, 29 Jan 2005 15:25:35 GMT

hey guys

i haven't updated in so long, it's crazy. right now, i'm at a friends (caseys)and im so bored. so i'm gonna go find something to entertain me.

i haven't been home much lately, honestly, which is why i havent updated a whole lot. ok well, i will later.

Tue, 14 Sep 2004 23:25:18 GMT

holy shit this is hard but i haven't done any kind of drug in over 2 days now. no cigarettes. it's a killer. and i see one right now that i want.

but i noticed today after sweating mounds from band and running that i haven't eaten in about 2 days either. i don't think i did that on purpose but its kinda neat, to see like, which one i'll give out on first. will i eat or smoke first? and man i really wanted drugs today. BUT i resisted.

this weekend sometime i'm gonna steal my mom's car and go to rachel's and then to a movie! woo! well not just me.. collin, will, alex, and chester perhaps.

friday i'm gonna go to jenny and robin neubauer's house to spend the night after the game. :) we're gonna have an 80s night and dress up all great and watch crappy 80s movies and listen to 80s music. sounds like great fun to me.

oh yeah

sister called yesterday wants me to come spend the night sometime up there with garrett and herself and i said no. :)

Tue, 14 Sep 2004 03:50:47 GMT

i hate boys. especially those who confuse me. cough.

everything will change, we'll give ourself new names

Mon, 13 Sep 2004 20:44:14 GMT

i have lots of tests. lots of homework. tonight's gonna be fun.

andrew's kinda irritated with me for stupid reasons. no. i don't want him anymore. i want someone else and i don't care if it's gonna happen or not. i've almost decided to not tell the guy i even like him. so i don't think i'll ever have another boyfriend again.

sheridan sucks, and unless i get to hang out with garrett or patrick more up at their house in little rock, i wont have a boyfriend. and if i hang out with them, that means video games + alcohol + weed. and i'm quitting drugs. for good. no more smoking especially.

Sat, 07 Aug 2004 06:15:53 GMT

apparently i said something wrong and it's being taken the whole wrong way.

i'm getting made fun of by some people and someone who is important to me is ending up hating me. and it makes me sad.

im sorry andy i didn't mean it, you should know that. :(

Sat, 07 Aug 2004 04:13:12 GMT

today was exciting. i got home at like 11 and i made collin beat the freaking grand jewel because i couldn't effing do it.

then we went to his house and i cleaned and rearranged his living room kinda. turned all the blankets into throws and moved tables around.

eh, then something happened but i don't feel like explaining myself/typing it out.

so now i'm in a weird mood and i'm really tired. and for some reason i really want to hear industrial, and i can't think of any good bands. i used to love this crap and there's shit to listen to.

Wed, 04 Aug 2004 02:58:53 GMT

suddenly..
i'm addicted to my playstation. all the time. i play legend of dragoon most of the time (i beat the first disc in a day though).

i like to play dark alliance too. and i played some stupid game at sarah's today. maybe it's not so weird but i've never really played video games before.

and i love how andrew isn't an asshole or anything about it. anytime i say something about it he makes fun of me and laughs at me and i swear he tries his hardest to make me feel stupid. doesn't succeed though.

other than that, band's started. what fun.

drown in a bath tub, fill it with cheap beer

Mon, 26 Jul 2004 04:09:13 GMT

today. was a fun day. that's all i'm going to say.

i read the news and they lied about you

Sun, 25 Jul 2004 03:57:25 GMT

Andrew's FINALLLYYY home. it's awesome. i missed him to pieces. (he was at governor's school, for those of you who missed that post, for 6 weeks). he came over and i was happy.

so far, thing's are looking better than yesterday. maybe i was just in a whiney-bitchy mood. not only did i see my boy <3, but i've arranged for two fun things to happen! breakfast one day, and a kinda party one day.

the more i read over the journal, the stupider i think i sound. and the stupider i probably am. (is "stupider" even a word). but that's okay, it's just a place to rant, right?

it takes a lonely girl to wish that she had never dreamt at all

Sat, 24 Jul 2004 02:33:49 GMT

today was going to be a good day. we fixed my room all up, finished painting my furniture and finally got it put together. my dad FINALLY fixed my effing car. then collin invited me over.

i said i couldn't come over right now because (at the time) my car was dead and my mom didn't want me to take hers. he asked if chester could come get me. chester said something along the lines of "i don't want to drive anywhere." so i said i'd be over sometime around 6-7.

dad fixed the car (yay) and i left at about 5:45ish. when i was on his road i met collin and chester on the road. i was like 'wtf i thought chester wasn't going to drive.'

i got to collin's and his dad told me that they went to CATIES. chester had to drive FURTHER OUT to get to catie's. but he couldn't come to my house? and since i was invited over, WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THEY WERE GOING SOMEWHERE ELSE. i don't even know where catie lives, so i called and asked but then i decided afterwards that i obviously wasn't wanted there so i'd just go home.

i hate my so-called friends. robyn's right, they're judgemental harsh pricks. i wish i could find other people here to be friends with. it's gotten me in such a dashboard confessional mood, and i hate dashboard.

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 20:44:33 GMT

these past few days have been the most boring days i can ever remember. yesterday i went to collins and played soul caliber. that has been the highlight of the week. tonight my parents are having friends over so i have to find some way out of the house. i'll go work on that.

Mon, 19 Jul 2004 06:11:38 GMT

i feel as if i haven't been online in 2 days. i don't think i have, but i don't remember much of yesterday.

i went to see andrew yesterday <3 which makes me super happy. i really like all his friends too. and now i am definately applying to governor's school.. i just really hope i can get in on art.

i finally worked up the courage to ask my mom where my dad was when rick got shot. for those of you who don't remember.. shortened version of the story. we got a phone call saying rick (family friend, dads best friend basically) was in the hospital and had been shot in the face with a shot gun. so of course my mom and i were freaking out. we tried to call my dad on his cell phone but he never answered, so we ran by his work place and they said he didn't come in that day. she took me home, he called and they had a private conversation. ANYWAY. mother said she couldn't tell me where my dad was that day. and had one of her faking happy looks on.

i'm freaked out even more now. i can't help but think the worse and it's driving me mad.

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 04:29:09 GMT

i just joined the community

hugmuffin

go join it and be happy.

lets pretend it's 1978 and we're playing pattycake

Thu, 15 Jul 2004 15:32:00 GMT

i just found a file labeled "funny" and i'm gonna post some of the tolerable ones.

Intoxicatedbacon: The neighbours are doing something weird
inevitablecow: sleeping loudly and agreeing a lot?
Intoxicatedbacon: LMAO! No
energetic vision: hehehe..
energetic vision: that's what my dad and brother do a lot
energetic vision: i dunno what they're agreeing about
energetic vision: but
energetic vision: they seem to thoroughly agree
energetic vision: yeah i don't have a brother
energetic vision: or a dad :[
inevitablecow: heh
inevitablecow: you have a dad technically.
inevitablecow: unless you're jesus
energetic vision: oh and
energetic vision: i was a test tube baby
inevitablecow: hehe
energetic vision: it's cool cause they grew me in a pitcher of koolaid

Auto response from compulsivejew: OMG MY HOUSE IS BURNING DOWN
whatweasel: !
whatweasel: can't be to serious, you had time to change text color..
whatweasel: put out the fire?
compulsivejew: okay
whatweasel: what happened?
whatweasel: what about the fire?

silentwaffle: i dont know who avril is
compulsivesheep: ...
compulsivesheep: are you serious
silentwaffle: yes
silentwaffle: is it like...a famous band?
compulsivesheep: avril lavigne?
silentwaffle: ...
(later)
silentwaffle: i have never heard tool
compulsivesheep: OMFG FIRST AVRIL, NOW TOOL?

fag in a rag: say a random adjective
fat jew: house?
fag in a rag: ...thats a noun

antiplacid: i hate my email
antiplacid: freepassvqrdvnui@net... The New J Lo blow job Video Free!
hug a sweater: HAHAHA
hug a sweater: CANDY GOT THAT TOO
antiplacid: sucks so hard
antiplacid: EW
antiplacid: NO PUN INTENDED

antiplacid: i like to spit on a stranger
antiplacid: you're getting stranger
crazy sox0rz: whats that
antiplacid: what's a stranger?
crazy sox0rz: ?
crazy sox0rz: afk
antiplacid: ...

WrathofMagus: ford escort
antiplacid: when
WrathofMagus: 3 weeksish
antiplacid: for you?
WrathofMagus: yes
antiplacid: nifty
antiplacid: what is it
antiplacid: a truck?
WrathofMagus: ....
WrathofMagus: its a sedan
antiplacid: er what's that
WrathofMagus: dont talk to me ever again

energeticvision: HEY MORON
energeticvision: DO ANYTHING STUPID TODAY
energeticvision: OH DON'T ANSWER
energeticvision: YOU PROBABLY DID
crazy sox0rz: when did you start school
energeticvision: HEHEH
energeticvision: last night with your mom

intoxicatedbacon: SHIT
intoxicatedbacon: I dropped a noodle on the keyboard
intoxicatedbacon: ;;;;;p['''''''''''[']p;]ppp]']']'p']p']p'][-pppppppp[-p[-p[-p-[p[-p[-p[p[-[pp[p[pppppppppp'--;'';;';[-ppppp'p'p'';[pp;;[p';/p[;'/.-p[';/>po[]=p[-p[o[o[o-[p;'/[-p';-p0;l.p-;
intoxicatedbacon: I think I got most of it

energeticvision: i can clearly see you're nuts
energeticvision: HUUUUUUR
antiplacid: HEHEHEHEHEHE

incu b o y d rox: I went to the mall and these ghetto kids started talking to me and my friend Sherri, cause they thought we were freaks cause Sherri's hair is pink.. and Sherri told them she was 27, and I told them I was 11 and my mom was a 75 year old gyno. and they believed us.
incu b o y d rox: and then we were talking to this like 35 year old Mentally Challenged guy that works there.. and he goes "I WAS TRYING TO TALK TO KATE AND THEN GEOFFRY COMES UP TO ME AND RIPPED MY STICKER OFF AND THEN I KICKED HIM IN THE HEAD." and I go "why did he do that?" and hes like "cause hes a fuck head" and then I go "when was this?" and he goes "9th grade."
incu b o y d rox: yeah cuz one time Sherri was talking to him, and she goes "hi, whats up?" and hes like "DONT SAY THAT.. ITS FROM THAT SCARY MOVIE!" and shes like "scream?" and he goes "YES!" and threw all his stuff down and ran away crying.

energeticvision: jessica!
compulsivejew: lindsay!
energeticvision: you're my best friend ever, you know that?
compulsivejew: you too!
energeticvision: and best friends write each other essays
energeticvision: about the ratification of the constitution
energeticvision: so..

thats enough of them. i should have used a cut tag but, life goes on and i'm super lazy.

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 21:38:08 GMT

stole this from someone else's lj..

Child of the 90's Meme
BOLD things you have done.

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCH!"
2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air."
4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-Sitters Club and tried to start a club of your own.
6. You owned those little Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom.
8. Two words: M.C. Hammer Can't touch this, bebbeh.
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock."
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars.
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales."
12. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen.
15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
16. You played the game "MASH".
17. You wore a Jordache Jean jacket and you were proud of it.
18. L.A. Gear
19. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten.
20. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books.
21. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF."
22. You wanted to be a Goonie. (i own a goonies t-shirt, and wear it)
23. You ever wore flourescent clothing.
24. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
25. You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
26. You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
27. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets. (i still have these!)
29. You remember Hypercolor T-shirts.
28. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence.
30. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
31. You thought She-Ra and He-Man should hook up.
32. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets.
33. You owned a pair of jelly sandals.
34. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
35. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
36. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
37. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip 'n' Slide.
38. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
39. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonald's.
41. You remember Popples.
42. "Don't worry, be happy."
43. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights.
44. You wore socks scrunched down. SLOUCH SOCKS!!!
45. "Miss MARY MACK MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK"
46. You remember boom boxes vs. CD players.
47. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.
48. You knew what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!"
49. You remember watching Rainbow Brite and My Little Ponies.
50. You thought Doogie Howser was hot.
51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool.
53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell," the ORIGINAL class.
54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - "YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME".
55. You played and or collected "Pogs" (i made a new pog game.. you take a pog and scream POG and throw it at someone)
56. You used to pretend that you could transform into a Power Ranger.

the 90s kicked ass. especially the early ones that i can remember.

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 20:29:48 GMT

i meant to update yesterday but i got all caught up in the icon fading thing i just learned to do (thank you very much nick/chris!)

BUT yesterday was boring and THEN merideth said "wanna take me to get a donut?!" and of course i did! so we went to donut palace, which was of course closed. heartbreaking. so instead we went to baskin robbins (which i didn't even know existed in sheridan) and got some mocha ice cream drink thing. it was good too. and then we went to wal mart, which is everyone's favourite place. and bought string and saw aaron and these two other people from school. also fun. then lastly we went to firehouse and got water and just sat around and that was fun too. hehe

but yeah that all took up about 2-3 hours.

then i got online and made up with becca so things are all peachy again.

my two favourite people, merideth and becca. :D

i wouldn't mind, but you are my only hope

Tue, 13 Jul 2004 06:57:53 GMT

robyn FINALLY came back. she was just with her new boyfriend, but she's been gone for weeks and wasn't answering her cell phone.

lindsay's high as ever, and i can tell by how many times she says she loves me. "i love jessica, she's my one and only, i love her with every fiber of my being"

and i dunno i feel really depressed right now. probably because it's 2 am and i don't feel well about myself. i'm just not a good person. i can't quit smoking. and i REALLY tried but i don't even realize what i'm doing till it's too late. i gained all the weight i lost back and i can't seem to drink enough water.

and i think andrew's gonna leave me, again. this would be the, uh, 7th time but i feel like we're getting distant and just hope it well be all resolved when he comes home... because he IS a long way away from me. he says he still loves me and everything is fine but it feels odd.

i mean i know i don't have the worst life in the world, duh. but i feel like shit right now and i don't like it.

Mon, 12 Jul 2004 17:26:39 GMT

i feel inspired. i lost 5 pounds in 3 days. (:

but i just ate a giant sandwich, sucks.

and i hang like a star

Mon, 12 Jul 2004 13:47:09 GMT

i think i miss someone. we got in a giant fight and haven't spoken to each other in weeks and now that i'm finally finished with my wisdom teeth i can think straight and for some reason this song (bright eyes - something vague) reminds me of her. and i would apologize if i felt i had something to apologize for. she's the one who made it my business.

Sun, 11 Jul 2004 02:52:50 GMT

i decided to screw the friends only thing. if there's something i don't want people to read i can damn well make THAT post friends only. besides, i kept forgetting to and had to go back and change things

EDIT
apparently i don't know who i am and i am a child.. which, fuck, thats true to me. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVIENCE. people are so stupid sometimes. and yes i am talking about myself being stupid.
END EDIT

and my mp3 list is getting out of hand. i can barely find anything i want to listen to anymore. everything i skip to is some kind of german industrial and i don't know WHY i ever enjoyed that crap.

<3 Buford

Fri, 19 Mar 2004 01:38:47 GMT

my dog buford was put to sleep...

he had broken all the lymph nodes in his back legs. both of his legs. the vet said there was really nothing we could do about it, because it would not heal on it's own and he doubted it would heal with surgery.

all i could think about was i wasnt gonna be able to hug my big yellow fat dog. and i've been crying so much ever since he's been gone.

then when david and john came over the day afterwards it was so weird not to hear him bark viciously at them. he was the only menacing dog i had.. he barked and was giant and scared nearly all my friends.

i even replaced a picture of my boyfriend thats in my room with a picture of him because i miss him and loved him so much. and come to think of it, there arent that many pictured of him since he was so young to die.

and if that wasnt horrible enough, my 'friend' newton was told about it and said "oh well it's about time that dog died.. i hated that fucking thing."

no cuttag.. i want everyone to see my baby <3

Sun, 08 Feb 2004 03:58:21 GMT

due to content on this site that i do not wish for some to read, this journal is friends only. comment to be added.